I've been asking for more free time so that I'll be able to practice and create more of the things that I want to do. But now that I have all the time in the world, I can't seem to to make myself face my computer. Instead I find myself doing house chores and doing even more house chores, I think more than necessary sometimes until I realize that I've used up most of my remaining free time of the day. Then I get exhausted and lay down on my bed or just be lazy and watch TV. Even if I get to face my laptop I always find myself in front of Facebook's ugly dashboard and keep on scrolling down absentmindedly 80% of the time. By the time that I realize I'm wasting my time then there's not much left to do but to sleep. Yup, been really lazy this past few days.
Resigning from my job was probably one of the scariest and bravest thing that I had to do for myself. It was liberating and felt that I finally got out of a prison guarded by selfish people (not all of them of course, don't need to explain myself here ). Working for more than the regular working hours was really exhausting and it made me hate most of the things that I love, it kept me from doing things with heart, time and passion. Everything was fast and frustrating in a lot of ways. But I learned a lot.
I was so tired and so I decided that I really need to rest. So I got out of my job, not all of them of course and here I am. Finally got the time to write a journal here on deviantART and finally had the time to explore this site even more. Lots of great artists here that's for sure.
I guess I was avoiding things that I wanted to do because I was afraid that I might fail. I know that I have a lot of improving to do. I also have dreams and plans inside my head but I really didn't know how to start them yet. Everything's such a big blur right now, I really need to pull myself together and face all of those questions and doubts inside my head. I guess this is what they call the fear of the unknown. But then again, how will I get rid of it if I keep on ignoring it right? Time to man up and face them! Fight!!
These smileys are so cute!!